Monday, December 12, 2011


You know, I'm starting to feel more paranoid recently. Naturally, I coped the first time by firing all 5,000 members of my staff and rehiring them after they spend a week in the slums. Ordinarily, it always cheers me up to watch them beg and grovel on a pile of broken glass, but not today.
I have a strange feeling that I'm being watched. At first I carried around an automatic weapon in my ankle holster, but then I discovered that there was a reason why people only carried Derringers. At one white tie party I thought that I was being followed and set fire to the whole thing.
There were no survivors.
And while it amuses me to punish people unfairly, I am wondering if that is really the best course of action.

Sunday, December 11, 2011


Hello, mindless Followers! I apologize for my Sabbatical, as I was legally Dead for a year. Having experienced it, I conclude that it is NOT FUN, and so I think that I will be making some changes to my online Newsletter. Firstly: my method of satire. I'm afraid that with my recent Heart Palpitations, hemophilia, and legal Deadness, my articles will not be as Regular as usual. However, I will still be Making them, in the spirit of my good friend, Ezekiel Watley, who not only didn't Kill me, but also didn't plunder my Solid Golden coffin. Cheers!
P.S. At his request, I am also Recommending that you read The Watley Review. It's quite Good.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Ugh. Sorry that I missed yesterday's post– I was busy that day. However, now that we have reached our 100th post, I have realized that I am truly getting too old for this, and I am afraid that I will have to start publishing articles much less frequently than usual. Thank you all for your support, and now leave me to my nap.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Whew. I cannot believe how much shipping companies charge these days. I have a good mind to sue them for daylight robbery, but I'm just.... so......... very........ tired. Maybe I should take a break from this, before it seriously affects my health. I'm not as young as I used to be. That's the truth.