Friday, January 7, 2011

Karolos Papoulias Hands Over Control Of Greece To Sam Worthington

Many Greek citizens were uncomfortable after the 2010 European sovereign debt crisis. However, none were expecting the consequences, as president Karolos Papoulias handed over control of the entire country to Australian actor Sam Worthington. Said the visibly harried former president, "This seemed like the right thing to do. After seeing Mr. Worthington star in that Clash of the Titans film as the amazing demi-god Perseus, I thought 'This man is a hero'. And if ever Greece needed a hero, it is now."

It is hoped that instating the movie star as President will proof Greece against attack by giant scorpions, cursed princes, flesh-eating one-eyed women, Gorgons, and Krakens.

In a public interview, Worthington said, "I'm not sure I'm up to this challenge. Killing a giant sea monster on a big screen is a lot different than running a country in a state of financial collapse. But believe me when I say that I'll be giving it the old college try." "This, by the way, is not a campaign promise", he added, nervously backing away from the excited reporters.

The political hand-over is seen as a good thing by an estimated 20% of the population of America and Greece (young women ages 15-20). "He's so dreamy", swooned a female reporter, before being carried out of the room. However, political analysts are not looking upon this favorably.

Said one, "This man has no political experience whatsoever, and they are making him the president? And in a country going through a financial crisis, no less! Mark my words, the Kraken of this sovereign debt crisis will not be quelled! By becoming president, Mr. Worthington will not killed the beast, but instead, he will release it! He will release–the Kraken!"

"Ah, I'm not too worried", said Mr. Worthington. "There's always a Medusa head around somewhere. Maybe I can borrow Sarah Palin."

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