Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Elite Group of Cartographers Attempts To Take Over Earth To Make Their Jobs Easier

The newly formed Atlas Police received their first challenge last week, breaking up a plot by an elite society of cartographers to take over the planet.

According to the head of the Atlas Police, "We were formed to deal with border regulations. Specifically, reports of convicts or any such wanted person trying to escape over the border to another country where they aren't wanted for their various crimes. You know, we were formed as a sort of secret police to catch them or give their harboring country a reason to chuck them back. But we were weren't expecting to have to deal with a plot this big."

The society of cartographers were, apparently, a group of diabolical mapmakers who desired to take over Earth and unify all continents and countries to make their jobs easier. The Atlas Police caught them just as they were finishing the details of their plan to use atomic bombs along the planet's fault-lines to slam all seven continents into another Pangaea.

The first prison interview occurred yesterday, with the interview with the leader, Mr. C.T. Rapher.

Said Mr. Rapher, "All of these wars, continental shifting, I don't know where to start. Are Europe and Asia separate land-masses? Or what about both those and Africa, as well? And those are the older ones. Should we classify Iraq as a U.S. Territory? So we decided to do something. We would merge all continents into a supreme nation where we would rule. Yes, us, the minority who has to deal with all of your shortcomings in the past hundred years! We would rule all the Earth. We will rule! Hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!"

At this point Mr. Rapher was manacled and dragged to his cell, where he continued to maniacally giggle for another thirty minutes. However, some terrorist experts are worried that that this will not be the last of the attacks.

Warned one such expert, "These guys were fanatics. That's been established. But they're right; the borders are changing, but I didn't think anything like this would happen. If it weren't for the quick intervention of the Atlas Police, I shudder to think what would have happened."

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