In philosophical news, yesterday an anonymous philosopher offered the "King Kong" remakes as the strongest evidence yet of reincarnation. The theory, deposited at the local church in the form of a letter, stated that "these remakes, each showing another, identically named ape, are very suggestive, and could be our strongest evidence yet of reincarnation."
The remakes of the original King Kong movie are a cultural icon of America, culminating in the 2005 remake by Peter Jackson. The movies, portraying a ferocious but emotional giant gorilla, have generally been successful, with the worst scraping 80$ million at the box office. However, until now, they have never been seen as a philosophical movie.
Said the Reverend, "This man is insane. This–this "King Kong" is a movie, a commercial venture. Granted, a good movie, but it is merely a moneymaking scheme. These directors had only greed motivating them; not reverence to our Lord. That is proved by the fact that those heathen natives worship that giant ape."
The anonymous philosopher defended his theory, saying in another letter, put down at a later point, "I am not saying that Kong is the angel Gabriel. What I am saying is that this is the same story, happening over and over, over the course of almost a hundred years. Doesn't that ring a bell?" "What is this man talking about?! He is an insane heathen defending a ridiculous answer to a ridiculous question! Any more letters arriving will be burnt to a cinder on arrival! I refuse to sully this good church with this ridiculous madman!!", exclaimed the visibly furious man.
The series of letters that followed will have linguists talking for years. The letters introduced a full 327 words to the English language. They are not listed, as they would have to be censored. At an interview with Peter Jackson, director of the 2005 King Kong remake, he stated, "Wow. My movie is being used as a way to verify reincarnation? I just thought that I wanted to make King Kong more realistic. Oh well. You just don't argue with someone who can blast off your head, resurrect you, and do it again."