*For the record, the fact that I bribed the judge just yesterday has nothing to do with this amazingly timed occurrence.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Ah, I have excellent news! I no longer must endure the terror of Harry Potter news 24/7! You see, I have been called out to that most vital of human endeavors: jury duty. Finally, I may leave this one-subjected news-house, even if only for a few days*! I can only hope that this trial lasts until Friday; for that way, we may return to our omni-present news coverage the minute I get back! Quick! I must don my best silk suit! Cravat! Best top-hat! Cuff-links! Spats! There! I believe my image is now presentable, even if it does scream extreme opulence! To the limousine, Mr. Kane: I'm going out!