The average turkey is a modern nightmare. Cooked in an oven, cut up at a butcher-shop– the most many people touch it is to stick it in to cook. Our recipe is different. prepared as the Pilgrims would have prepared it, cooked as they would have cooked it, and eaten as they would have eaten it– the perfect turkey. We now invite you to follow the instructions– and dig in!
Step 1: Catch a turkey between 15-20 pounds. Use a bow and arrow.
Step 2: Pluck the turkey.
Step 3: Cut off the turkey's head and remove its organs (use a small dagger).
Step 4: Prepare a fire and make a spit over it.
Step 5: Put the turkey on the spit.
Step 6: Wait for 4 hours.
Step 7: Bring the half-raw carcass to the table.
Step 8: Dig in!
If you have done this correctly, the turkey will have a half-raw, rather slimy texture to it. Use only a small dagger to eat. when you reach bones, crack them open– marrow is a good source of fat! Happy Thanksgiving!