Saturday, November 20, 2010
Well men, I'm back from jury duty. The man was proven guilty, and everything sorted itself out in the end. I say, what is........ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! My newsroom... my difference-engine... my... my... MY BANK ACCOUNT!!! MY MONEY HAS DROPPED FROM $50 BILLION DOLLARS, £30 MILLION POUNDS, AND ∞ TURKISH LIRA BY 3 ZEROES!!!!!!!!! JOSEPH!!!!!! Wait a minute– how did he get access to my bank account? More importantly, why has he been in charge for these past few days? Oh..... wait......... I see.......... for future reference, Mr. Competent, "closest living relative" does not mean "relative in closest proximity". I really ought to have seen this coming– I should never trust a fool, especially one named I.N. Competent. Come to think of it, why did I make that idiot my secretary in the first place?