Today, the King of Arizona has declared war on the race of magical pixie-frogs, the world's first dog-eat-dog fight has begun on television, an anonymous person's iPad has shorted out, Jimmy's pet worm has escaped, Martians have discovered how to make a double-whopper with cheese, an ant has been stepped on, a book has been published, Bobby has made some new friends, Mrs. Rewe taught her students Calculus, the answer to today's crossword is "Mesopotamia", Yet another variation of Pac-Man was released, the Canadian police has captured a criminal, John has read a good book, someone has had to take French lessons, the birthday party candles didn't blow out completely, a German diner has served Shwarzwalder Kirshtorte for a limited time only, the bathtub water is a little too hot, Martha's mood ring is green right now, the Premier Neo-Destructionist General of Zimbabwe has decided to have pancakes with his breakfast, the Prime Minister's hedge clippers have attacked the President of the United States, and S.D. Tirase has run out of good ideas for his articles.*
*Normal articles will resume after Mr. Tirase comes up with a halfway-decent idea for one.
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