Friday, November 26, 2010

Perfect Brain Concieved: 1% Inspiration, 99% Perspiration

Thomas Alva Edison is known for many great things, such as the light-bulb, but perhaps the most well-known is his famous saying: "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration."
Up until now, it was just a cryptic adage showing the value of hard work: no longer. Scientists at Johns Hopkins University have taken this saying to heart, producing what is being flaunted as the perfect brain: an organic capsule with 1% of the total brain space being occupied by part of the cerebrum, and with 99% percent being occupied by human sweat.
Said one scientist, "We are very pleased with the result. We were just thinking one day, 'What wastes the most space in an average human brain?' And then the answer hit us: the brain itself!"
Indeed, the brain, dubbed the EdisonBrain, uses the sweat for nutrients for the small amount of actual brain, theoretically allowing it to move up to twice as fast as an average brain.
However, difficulties were to be encountered. "The problem is, sweat will poison the brain if directly exposed to it.", said another of the scientists who worked on the project. "So, we have put a small vacuum chamber around the brain, so that only actual nutrients will reach the brain."
When this reporter inquired whether or not the brain would be crushed in the chamber, the scientist gave him a condescending pat on the head and a cookie.
The scientists responded to other scientists' questioning as to how the brain will survive when there is just salt left the same way. "Pooh-pooh," said Mr. P.R. Spire, the scientist who directed the project. "They just don't understand the complexities of the human brain the way we do. I'm sure everything will become clear in a month or so."
"Oh, every thing's becoming clear all right," said physicist Stephen Hawking. "Very clear."

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