Friday, November 5, 2010

So Chan Caught Driving While Drunk, Made to Pay Fine

So Chan, the self-styled "Drunken Master", was caught driving while intoxicated and made to pay a 300.00 fine. He is currently in custody, awaiting trial.

Said Chan, "I am innocent. The only reason I was driving while drunk was because I was dueling the deadly Yin Yang assassin. After striking and stunning him, I jumped into my car and fled, knowing that his full power is unstoppable."

After explaining that he can only use his full potential when he is drunk, Master So once again pleaded innocent. It remains to be seen whether the judge will pardon him for his intoxication. However, the outlook remains grim. Said the judge, "While I can respect Master Chan's determination to live, I cannot respect the fact that he endangered other lives when he drove while drunken. Is one life so difficult when other lives hang in the balance?"

The Yin Yang assassin is currently being interviewed by reporters. Although there appeared some complications, such as the assassin killing the first, second, and third news crews, finally a reporter has managed to ask him a question while sustaining only mildly life-threatening injuries. "We are confident that the assassin will soon be interviewed in full. The reporter's first asked question, 'Will you please not kill me?' and the Yin Yang assassins answer, 'No,' will be a bold step forward," said the judge. "Soon, both sides of the story will be revealed, and we can finally come to the correct conclusion and find out who is really in the wrong."

No comments:

Post a Comment